My Darling, Hayley Anne. My First Born.

So, my friend Jennie (who lives in my computer) inspired this. 

In honor of what allows me to celebrate "Mother's Day", I will be writing a little letter to my children.

Since she was first... she gets to be first.

Hayley Anne Harriger

My whole life, I dreamt about being a mom. 

A veterinarian, a teacher, a missionary in Hoochie-HulaLand (just a bit south from Singapore, I think) and a mom. You made this dream possible.  (The others didn't work so well for me).

You were no surprise to me.  I knew it was the right time for daddy and I to become parents.  I knew I was pregnant *almost* the moment it happened.  When I was pregnant, I knew you'd be a strong individual.  I knew you'd have a fiery spirit that would eventually get you in trouble.  You would kick daddy in the head when he tried to "listen" to you in my belly.

You showed your stubborn personality even before you were born.  You didn't WANT to come into this world, and no one could make you.  You were 2 weeks late.  All the begging & pleading I did couldn't convince you it was nice "out here".  Every night I cried "please PLEASE come out! I'll be super nice! I promise"  One night I *think* I bribed you with a pony & some ice cream.  But since you refused... Sorry - no pony.  I would watch birth-shows on Cable & say "Doesn't that look easy, baby?  You can do it!"

Toward the end, daddy was even begging you... "PLEASE MAKE IT END!" (I wasn't very nice to be around... I'll admit it).

This picture was 2 days before you came out!

Even when the doctors gave me medicine to get you out - you stayed your ground.  They had to go in after you & you were NOT happy that someone found a way around your determination.

As daddy has told you MANY times - you came out SCREAMING.

When we were in the hospital, many nurses commented about how you were an "old soul" - meaning someone who has been here before.  Of course we don't believe *that* way, but there was a look in your eye that said "Mom, don't try anything funny- I have my eye on you..."

You were determined to do things your way.  Mommy wanted to exclusively nurse you until you were about a year old.  You allowed me to try for 5 months before you made it PERFECTLY clear you were done.  There were way too many things to look at to be bothered by such trivialities as "eating".

You MUST have been reading through my belly button at all the development books.  You rolled over at 4 months, you sat up at 6 months, you broke your first teeth at 6 months.  9-months standing & trying to step.  12 months - running as fast and as far as you desired.  You like to do things by the book. 

You don't like things to be different from the way they're supposed to be.  You yell at daddy when he changes words to songs, you asked me not to sing along with songs because you like it the way it is supposed to be heard. I pray that isn't a reference to my singing ability (which I think is pretty awesome).

You are a rule-enforcer.  Always telling me when Hannah is getting into trouble, or correcting a child at the playground when he is doing something he shouldn't (even if it is something you just did yourself).

You are determined to make everything "right" in your world.  If I call grandpa "Dad" on accident, you say "Oh! I get it! You called him DAD because my grandpa is YOUR daddy! Right?"

When you see a dog, you make sure we all know that at one time, he used to be a puppy.

Silly? Yes you've been silly since day 1 (or maybe day 3.)

You LOVE making silly faces.  You love to laugh & giggle.  Your giggle could run the world... (if we  lived inside "Monsters, Inc", that is).

You are probably the most friendly child I've ever met.  Everyone is your new best friend.  You always say hi to the cashier, the lady behind us, the man sitting alone.  You walk right up to people & say "Hi! My name is Hayley, what is your name?"  Most grown ups don't know what to do with you!

You are a tender, sweet soul.  You can't go to sleep without approximately 853 hugs & 2593 kisses.  Oh.  And you MUST cuddle.  Since you came home from the hospital, dad put you to bed with me.

(I didn't say YOU fell asleep everytime - I said you must cuddle)

I can't say I really really minded the company.  (Shhhh don't tell. I love it).

You are extremely sensitive.  If you are corrected or disciplined, it is all about the emotions.  You feel remorse, but mostly I think you are bummed out that you were caught.

You are now Five years old.  "Five and a Half". Excuse me.  I love watching you grow taller.  I love hearing you read words from books, signs, windows, bumper-stickers on cars.  I love seeing you become a little lady.  You have definitely rocked my world. 

Next year comes the first "big" milestone in a child's life.  Kindergarten.  It puts into perspective all the little milestones I thought were important.  At this stage, I don't remember specifically when you started crawling, I think your first words were Apple & Puppy, but I'm not sure.  I remember you ate Sweet Potatoes first, but I don't know when.  I know I will remember the day you walk into that big school all by yourself. (well, I get to walk you to your classroom the first day, but still...). 

Of course, you'll probably run into the building & beg me not to come with.  You have been waiting for this moment for YEARS.

I love you Hayley Anne.  You light up my life with everything you do.  Even when you are grumpy and not listening, when you stomp your feet and run to your room.  Sometimes I just smile & say... "I got my girl."  You are like me in just about every way.  We have VERY similar personalities, which I believe is why I allow you to stomp and run.  I allow you to yell "THAT IS NOT FAIR".  Because you're right!  (Mom-ism coming) "LIFE IS NOT FAIR!" HA! Now we just have to learn how to deal with it.

I pray for you.  Everyday I pray that God will mold you into the perfect Hayley you can be.  I pray that God will guide and lead you in your life.  That you will ultimately decide to allow Him to lead your life.  I also pray that someday you will grow to be a strong, independent woman.  A woman who knows what she wants.  A woman who is determined to get it - whatever "it" is.