An Irreconcilable Force.

We have a somewhat supernatural force in our home. 

It has the power of the strongest wind.
It has the strength of one-hundred horses (The Big Clydesdales, not the mini-ponies).
It is silent like Carbon Monoxide (really? I couldn't think of anything else deadly & silent).
Stealth ... like something really really sneaky.
It causes damage in the blink of an eye.

It is my daughter.  Her name is Hannah.


Now, I've heard many people say "If I had this child first, I would NOT have had anymore children."  No matter how damaging that child is - I love her.  I would love 10 more just like her. I am so blessed by her spirit and her... well... creativity and imagination.  Think: "Harold & the Purple Crayon".  So creative.  So imaginative.  But how do you think Harold's mom reacted to purple crayon all over the walls, ceiling, floor...

The latest chapter in "Hanzilla the Destroyer" was a pile of golden cornsilk hair laying on her floor last night.  I knew it wasn't human hair - definitely of the plastic-hair variety. 
Let's take a poll. 
Do you think the hair was from:
A. The $2 thrift-store Barbie that we bought just for the dress she was wearing?
B. The doll we have had since she was a baby - of unknown origin?
C. The tail of a horse we got at Build A Bear Workshop?
D. The hair from her most recent birthday-present, Rapunzel "barbie".

If you said "D" you're right.  Rapunzel now has a very Avant-Garde, NY Runway model hair "don't".  What is the point of a Rapunzel doll if she has short, zig-zag hair do?  "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... let down your fire-escape ladder..."??? Not quite the same ring.

Mommy kept her cool (mark it on the calendar).  I undressed Rapunzel, handed her to Hannah & said "You may go throw her in the garbage."  Tears.  Wails of protest. Nashing of teeth. "MY PRESENT!"
Some might think I was a little dramatic throwing the doll away.  Maybe a little over-the-top.  But seriously.  I do NOT want her thinking her destructive actions are cute or acceptable.  I can't think of punishments to fit these crimes (& Dr. Spock, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Dr. Dobson... none of them have a chapter on "What to do with the doll post hair-cut".)
Plus - I don't want a wonky-looking doll laying around.  I am trying to simplify my life & having broken toys laying around will not achieve that goal.  I still wonder if I can try styling her hair into a short bob...  (I'm also one step away from filling out the application for TLC's Hoarders...)

Then as I was about to tuck her in for the night, I notice a small pile of darker-golden cornsilk hair.  This time it was of the human variety. 
Reason's why I love Hannah:
I asked her "where" she cut her hair (clearly meaning: where is your bald-spot)... & she said "By the desk".
I asked her... "No - WHERE is your hair cut?"  & She pointed to my hand full of hair & said "there!"
Once again, I ask... "On your head. What part of your head did you cut off hair?"
Then she rubbed her head & said "kind of all over, just like Grandpa does."

Next Chapter: Why I wish my father was NOT a barber...