All About ME!

I never wanted to be the person that could only EVER talk about her children.
So this post is all about me. Little Sara Lou Harriger.

Last night, I did something for myself! I "joined" the Gospel Choir at my church.  I'm so proud of me on many levels.  I love singing. I love being in a choir.  I've been avoiding it because "I don't know anyone". I was nervous & shy.

You might think, "Oh, Sara - That's silly. You're so outgoing and SO not shy... I just can't believe you would have a problem like this."

I do!  I suffer from extreme lack of self confidence.  If I know you - of course I'm comfortable.  If I know the environment or "situation" (like being at Camp Lebanon, or going to the church I grew up in) I am totally comfortable because it is a part of ME.  I belong there - even if I don't know anyone. 
But if I walk into a room of strangers - especially if THEY all know each-other, I feel light headed & want to puke... I get a case of the "What-ifs"...
What if no one talks to me? What if they are mean? What if they don't have a joking-spirit or a sense of humor?! (You know musicians can be quite serious...). What if they don't WANT new choir members? (well, they shouldn't advertise for them, I guess!).  What if the lady next to me doesn't like my shirt?

What if What if What if!!!

However, the MOMENT I walked into the worship center for choir practice, all my What ifs were so quickly blown away that I found myself spinning in circles trying to shake everyone's hand & still find my way to the Alto section! Then the best thing happened... one lady said "Sit there - next to me!" 

It was funny - I felt VERY welcomed.  VERY wanted.  And yet - so nervous I picked all the nail polish off my fingers.  I sat next to one of the "Main" singing ladies - she's always in the choir, on stage singing Praise & Worship, etc.
I had SO much fun. At the end of practice, the "main lady" (her name is Karen) even said, "Oh, I KNEW I'd like you the minute I met you."

Not only do I get to sing again, but maybe my self confidence was boosted up a notch last night.